Happiness and Meaning Does Not Include Being Should Upon

Megan came into the office and almost threw herself into one of the visitors' chairs. I could see that she was just able to hold back a cascade of tears.
No beating around the CheckPoint 156-915.70 bush when I asked, "What's wrong, Megan?"
She let a racking sob loose and blurted out, "I'm tried of everyone telling me I should do this or I should do that. I shouldn't have said that. I should have said... whatever."
"Who is saying all these shoulds?" I asked.
"My mother-in-law, my husband, even my kids. I feel as if God himself were telling I should be better at... whatever."
"Megan, God does not ever tell you, you should do this or that. Yes, we have scriptures that we have interpreted or written as if God were telling us we should be better. But that is man made stuff."
"You mean," she started, "that God does not tell me I should be better? I find that hard to believe."
"I know it is hard to believe because we have been pasted over with so much nonsense that was made up to keep us under control. But I am here to tell you that, in my view, and the ideas of many through the ages, that we are free of any should from God."
"Then what are all the shoulds we have from other people, even kids?" Megan asked.
"Ever noticed that they are trying to control you in those situations. They say, You should do this or that. Why? Because they want you to do it their way. I am afraid you have conditioned them to believe they can get away with controlling you. How do you respond when they say "you should?"
After some thought Megan said, "I see. I usually do as they demand. As if I am shamed into doing it. Control is their game, then."
"I would CheckPoint 156-816.61 say so."
I told Megan that real happiness is free and without conditions imposed by God or anyone else. It's letting the bird in the hand go free and it will return if it is so minded.
By spiritual connection to the Cosmic Consciousness we find happiness. Connection made through the meditative arts. But that happiness does not tell us what to do or how we should act or think.
In happiness you are totally free to determine how you shall act and be. You decide upon all such things. While deciding what it means to be happy, you have found your meaning, which is to be happy.
All shoulds can then be eliminated. One person shoulding on another person is a form of control that one person tries to exert on another.
You need to be able to say, at least to yourself, and perhaps out loud to the other person, "Don't should on me."
Therein you declare yourself free from the undue influences of others.
Try it right now. First, say to yourself about yourself, "Don't should on me." Go ahead, say it.
Second, you might want to prepare yourself to say it to someone else when they actually use the word should against you. They might say, "You should do it this way." You need to say back, "Don't should on me."
The other person will at least be startled. They may even get angry. That's when you have to stand your ground and not back down.
You are in control of you. No one else need ever be.
Megan heard these words and appeared very thoughtful as she E20-017 left the office. Her state of mind was much cleansed by the time we finished our talking together.
Ease your mind and life by determining for yourself that no one will ever gain should on you.